Q: How do I know if I’m being realistic about love or just settling?

A: Thank you for such a thought-provoking question—one I know has crossed many people’s minds.

When we think about what is realistic or unrealistic in a love relationship, we may reflect on where our ideas and beliefs come from. Truthfully, it starts from the very beginning of our lives, witnessing affection (or a lack of loving interactions), including the tense energy during or following disagreements. This becomes our norm, and this lifestyle becomes our reality.