“Are you being confronted with trust issues?”
Stay with me and I’ll show you how to…
- make a decision
- determine levels of trust
- open up to change
Are you being confronted with trust issues now that you’re together in lockdown? Maybe there are things that have happened in your past to make you not believe your partner. Have you not been able to depend on them? Have they let you down, humiliated, or embarrassed you? Has it touched one area in your life or all of them? And for whatever reason, you are still hanging on, even if it is by a thread!
I remember meeting a woman whose daughter found emails her husband was sending to another woman, in another country. She couldn’t believe it, as she was reading his words that asked this woman for her passport details, and then watched a video of him filming their home, saying this would be the woman’s home someday. (Gasp!) His words and tone of his voice were seductive, and she knew instantly he was recruiting this woman to replace her!
Betrayals, secrets, and lies. What would you do?
Well, this lady was very quick to say she wasn’t leaving and didn’t want a divorce. Directing my affirmation towards him, regarding his shocking act, was all she needed. She left the session feeling vindicated and she walked out with her head held high.
Was trust there before? Or was it never there?
There are so many layers and degrees of trust, and so I thought you could use some tips on how to deal with your feelings of distrust during this time.
- Make a decision. Are you still there because you want to, or because you feel you have no other choice? Settling and accepting why we are where we are, will hopefully over time calm the initial feelings of distrust.
- Make a list of things you can count on from your partner and things you can’t. Is there an overlap? Has your partner been remorseful and tried to change their behavior?
- Consider the possibility that things could improve and that trust can slowly be rebuilt. Have you told your partner what you need to feel secure? Have you thought of ways that they could demonstrate their trustworthiness to you?